Feeling is Healing
Do real men cry?
When I grew up I was told men don’t cry, warriors don’t know pain, crying men are sissies and similar phrases.
But I often felt like crying.
I felt like crying when I was bullied in school, when my shoulder was broken by kids playing a “prank” on me, when a classmate was killed, when a teacher mistreated and ridiculed me, when my parents were constantly fighting and I though they will get a divorce or
when my best friend moved away.
The reasons were different and maybe to the outside some warrant an emotional reaction more than others but to me they were the same as the message was the same - suck it up men don’t cry.
Today I listened to a beautiful share during the Dadweek 2020 online event. Where a men talked about crying with his daughter and his wife telling him later not to do that again as a father needs to be the rock in a daughters life.
I believe both is possible. I am a father that is a rock in his children’s lives and at the same time I cry with them or in front of them. I have found a way to feel my emotions and to let them surface.
This also allowed my children to better deal with their emotions. Both my son and daughter know it is ok to feel it all. No matter if that is sadness, joy, anger, love, frustration, silliness or whatever else wants to be felt at any given moment.
This also enabled me to getting better at being ok with my children not being ok sometimes and to just be with them during that time, rather than trying to fix them.
“Feeling is Healing”